“I’ll be right back,” Light told him as he went to the door, “I have to turn in a few papers and this report and pick up whatever new projects they’ve come up with, unless you’d rather I stay. I can get someone else to do that for me…” Lawliet looked up from his laptop and shook his head.
“I’ll be fine, I’m sure you won’t be gone too long,” he assured him not happy that he didn’t sound as sure as he wanted to. Light nodded and picked up the things he needed before going to the door.
“I’m locking the door behind me, not that I think it’s necessary but I think you’ll feel better if I do.” Light added as he opened the door and then smiled back at him. “You should get up from that desk and lay down for a while anyway.” Lawliet waved him away with his hand.
“I’m fine. Go do your errands and don’t worry about me,” he told him without even looking up from the screen. Light watched him type furiously on his keyboard for a moment, then turned and left the room. As long as he was working he knew he’d be fine, but he didn’t want to leave him alone for very long. He knew Lawliet was putting on more of a brave face than he actually felt anyway. He locked the door and then sprinted down the stairs.
The moment he heard the lock turn in the door Lawliet stopped typing and released a shaky breath. He hoped he had convinced Light that he was alright being alone for a bit; it was bad enough he had asked Light to stay with him instead of going to classes, he didn’t want him to know just how scared of being alone he really was. He got up from behind the desk and slowly walked to the door, checking to make sure it was indeed locked. He walked back to the desk and sat down, telling himself how ridiculous he was being, everything was fine, B was locked away, no one was going to hurt him. He went back to the case he was working on, his eyes darting to every shadow and corner of the room as he went back to his desk. He began to type and then angrily shoved the laptop away from him. He was angry that B had done this to him, angry that his brother had so much power over him still, and angry that he couldn’t control his own fear. “I won’t let you do this, I won’t let you control me!” he shouted to the empty room as he got control of himself. He reached for the laptop again began to work, pushing his fear out of his mind.
By the time he got to the bottom and had entered the general area Light heard someone calling his name and he stopped with a sigh, knowing exactly who it was. He turned around to see Misa moving quickly to catch up with him, a smile on her face that made him wonder what was going on.
“Light! Wait for a moment I want to talk to you,” she called out as she moved towards him.
“Misa, I don’t think we have very much to say to each other anymore, and after what you did to Lawliet…” she stopped and sighed.
“I know, and I’m sorry Light, I really am. I was just so angry and hurt and I know that if he didn’t exist we’d still be together and I just…lashed out. It’s that I do really love you Light.” He looked at her sadly and ran a hand through his hair.
“You’re right Misa,” he answered, “If Lawliet didn’t exist, we probably would be together and we would be living a lie,” he sighed and looked away, “If that’s all you wanted to talk about we’re done. I appreciate your apology but I have to get to my classes…” he began to move away.
“No, that wasn’t all. I am sorry for hurting him if only because it hurt you, and I don’t want you mad at me. But my main reason for looking for you is because my parents are planning to come for graduation.”
“That’s very nice for you, I’m sure they’ll be proud of you,” he answered and again tried to move away.
“They gave me a message to give to you,” she said quickly. “They understand that after what happened to you and Lawliet that there were bound to be feelings that happened between you, you know shared trauma feelings, but they think that maybe after time has gone by that will wear off.”
“Misa they don’t understand anything if that’s what they think,” he said, a little anger beginning to show.
“Well…they also said that they would be happy to take you home with us after graduation, and explain everything to your parents and pick up where we left off before all of this. You could patch everything up with your family again. Light, my parents really like you and they know how much I love you and…..”
“Misa stop!” he shouted to stop her from going any further, “While I appreciate what your family is trying to do, there is no patching anything up with my family, I’ve already made peace with that. But I have cared for Lawliet for a long time, this hasn’t just happened after the attack. But it was the attack that made me not want to hide it anymore because I could have lost him and never had this chance. I am really sorry you’re getting hurt by this, but there is never going to be a time when I don’t love Lawliet and come back to you, especially since you never really had me in the first place. I’m very sorry, but the sooner you realize that the better it’s going to be for you. I will always be your friend Misa, but that’s all I can ever be to you.”
“Maybe, but maybe not,” she answered, “I just wanted to let you know what my parents said, just in case you realized you made a mistake,” she smiled at him, “And that I’ll be waiting if you do.” She leaned forward and kissed his cheek.
“I have to get to my teachers and get a list of assignments for the week so I can keep an eye on Lawliet,” he said moving away, “Excuse me.” He moved quickly to his first class and took a deep breath. Obviously she wasn’t going to believe it until she was on the plane to Japan and he wasn’t there. He couldn’t really blame her, he couldn’t a remember a time that their parents hadn’t been grooming them both for marrying each other; if anyone was to blame it was their parents and she got caught in the middle. He sighed again as he moved quickly down the hall; he couldn’t worry about that right now, he had to get his work so he could get back to Lawliet.
Wammy knocked on Lawliet’s door before trying to open it. When he realized it was locked he knocked again and when he still didn’t get an answer he began to be concerned. He pulled the key from his pocket and opened it quickly. “Lawliet?” he called as he walked into the room. He closed the door and as he walked further in he saw the reason why he hadn’t answered. Lawliet had fallen asleep at the desk, draped over his laptop.
“Lawliet….” He said as he gently shook the boy’s shoulder; “You should go back to bed…” Lawliet’s eyes opened slowly and he lifted his head. His eyes were out of focus as he became aware, and all he saw was a shadowy figure looming over him. Lawliet started violently, crying out and falling backwards in an effort to pull away from the figure, the chair flying backwards sending the teen crashing to the ground. His hands immediately coming up in self-defense against whatever attack he was sure was coming, as he cried “No…please” over and over, his eyes shut tightly.
“Lawliet it’s me, it’s Wammy!” the older man said as he rushed to help him, “It’s only me,” he said again as he reached for his arms to calm him down. Lawliet pulled away before the words penetrated the terror in his mind and he finally opened his eyes.
“Wammy?” he asked, his eyes still wide with fear and darting all around the room.
“Yes, son it’s me; no one else is here. You fell asleep at the computer and I tied to wake you…”
“He wasn’t here? I…I thought he was here, I thought he was going to kill me,” he burst into tears as Wammy pulled the trembling teen against him,
“It’s alright, he’s not here, you’re safe,” he told him in a soothing voice.
“I’m so afraid, I don’t want to be afraid,” he cried against him, “I can’t be afraid, L’s not afraid…” the words coming out almost in a babbled stream as if trying to convince himself.
“You are allowed to be afraid of being hurt,” Wammy told him, “You’ve suffered a great trauma at the hands of your own flesh and blood, that’s enough reason. But you must realize that he is locked away from you, he is not able to get to you to hurt you, and in time he will no longer want to hurt you. Now come, get off of the floor and let me put you to bed.” He said as he began to help him to his feet.
Light frowned when he used his key to open the door and discovered it was unlocked. He was sure he had locked it, he knew he had…he quickly opened the door and with one look at the situation he was running across the room, dropping books and papers as he did.
“God…Lawliet…what happened…are you okay?” he asked moving to hold him. Lawliet immediately moved from Wammy to Light’s arms.
“He awoke from a nap very badly I’m afraid,” Wammy said watching him, “He needs to go to bed, he took a bad spill.” Light nodded and began to walk with him to the bedroom.
“I’m sorry Light, I’m just so scared all the time….” Light shushed him as they got into the bedroom.
“It’s okay, I’m not going to leave you alone again until you get over this, it’s okay,” he assured him and helped him get into bed, frowning at how much he was still trembling.
“I’ll make him some tea, that will help calm him,” Watari offered from the doorway and Light nodded as he made sure Lawliet was safely in bed. He moved to go back into the living room to pick up his books and papers and Lawliet’s vice grip on his arm stopped him.
“It’s okay babe, I’m just going to get my things so I can work right here, they’re just in the living room, I’m not leaving the apartment.” Lawliet relaxed his grip and Light leaned down to kiss his cheek, then moved quickly into the next room to gather his things and his laptop, moving quickly to get back into the bedroom.
Watari came in with a tray with tea for both of them and snacks and set them on the bedside table. He touched Lawliet’s forehead to make sure he wasn’t feverish and handed him a cup. His trembling hands made it difficult to hold on to so Light took the cup and brought it to his mouth. He looked up at Watari worriedly as Lawliet took a sip of the tea.
“You’ll be alright soon Lawliet,” his mentor assured him, “Right now you need to calm and rest. You’ll feel better after you’ve done that.”
“I don’t want to be so afraid Wammy, how do I stop?” Lawliet asked and Watari sighed.
“With time, that’s all. Your mind will soon realize there is no longer any danger to you and you will be fine,” he looked at Light, “I’ve got to get to my office, don’t hesitate to call me if you need anything.” Light nodded and thanked him as he turned back to Lawliet, giving him more tea.
After a few minutes Lawliet was able to hold it himself, the warmth running down his throat and calming him just as Watari had suggested it would. He was finally able to take a deep breath without shaking. “I’m sorry Light, I’m making it so difficult for you and I don’t mean to.” Light shook his head and took the empty cup from him.
“It’s alright, the only thing I’m missing is not being in those classes which I’m certainly not upset about,” he chuckled, “And nothing means as much to me as you do.” Lawliet nodded and then studied him.
“Why aren’t you bothered as much as I am?” he asked after a moment. “I mean he tried to kill you too!” Light shrugged.
“First of all my wounds were a lot less serious than yours, secondly he isn’t my brother. Yes it did bother me of course the first couple of weeks afterwards after being attacked, but we were in the hospital together, I knew he couldn’t get to us there…I was more concerned about your more serious wounds,” he shrugged, “but that doesn’t matter, what matters is getting you through this. Do you want more tea?” Lawliet shook his head and lay down all the way.
“I’m just very tired right now, would you mind if I took a nap?” he asked and Light shook his head.
“Of course not, you sleep, and I’ll be right here working while you sleep,” he leaned forward and kissed him gently. “I love you, get some rest.” L nodded and closed his eyes.
“Thank you, I love you too, and I’m sorry,” he whispered before drifting off to sleep.
Light watched him for a while, in case he had trouble sleeping but he seemed to be okay. He got on the other side of Lawliet and spread out his papers, turned on his laptop and began to work.