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About Deviant Premium Member Dotti RhodesFemale/United States Groups :iconraito-x-l: Raito-x-L
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These things hold strong places in my heart....and some of the lower spots too....

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(Contains: sexual themes)
Light awoke with a start; fearing what happened the night before was just a dream. He was afraid to turn over and find instead of L an empty spot on the bed once again. He slowly turned his head to see and was overjoyed to see that messy mass of black hair facing him. He rolled over and buried his face in L’s hair as he wrapped his arm around him. L awoke at the touch and turned around to face him.

“Good morning,” he said as Light leaned in to kiss him.

“It really is,” Light answered and kissed him again, “You have no idea how glad I am to wake up and see you.” L smiled at him, running a hand through Light’s hair.

“I have some idea,” he answered. “I have missed my bed almost as much as I missed you,” he added stretching out completely. Light laughed and crawled over him, almost groaning at how good it felt for their bodies to be touching.

“I have missed you so much,” he whispered leaning down to gently brush his lips against L’s, “So much that I can hardly believe you’re home.” He ran a hand through the raven hair, slightly tangled from sleep but still incredibly soft.

“I know, I’m sorry I’ve been such a fool but that’s nothing new lately is it,” L breathed back, moaning softly at the soft touch of Light’s lips on his. Light lay on L completely, grinding against him slowly.

“I need to welcome you back properly,” he said leaning down and kissing L’s neck, “Every part of me has missed you desperately,” he said grinding again. L closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around him, moaning softly again as he moved against him as well.

“Yes, I think that would be a wonderful idea,” he whispered, moving his hands up Light’s back and into his hair.

“I love you,” Light whispered, moving against him again, his lips hovering over L’s, just enough for L to be able to feel his breath against them. L found that incredibly erotic, a tease that was making him want him more; and he knew Light was aware of it.

“I love you too,” he answered as he moved his hands to the back of Light’s head and forced him down so their lips met. When they did he took control of the kiss, forcing his tongue into Light’s mouth without waiting for permission.

Light moaned against his mouth, his tongue welcoming and wrapping around L’s as their bodies moved against each other. Light finally pulled away and began to kiss down L’s jaw, to his neck and back up to his mouth while L’s hands ran up and down his back, stopping only to card through his hair. His hips moved up to meet Light’s; the friction the grinding against each other’s erections was both delicious and maddening at the same time. Light pulled away from his mouth long enough to get up on his knees and hook his fingers into the waistband of L’s boxers, pulling them down as L lifted his hips to help him remove them. Light then moved back to kiss him again, while allowing one hand to move down L’s body, until he had wrapped his hand around him. L gasped at the touch, immediately moving his hips to push himself against Light’s hand. Light stroked him as he continued to kiss L’s neck, finding his favorite spot and nipping at the sensitive skin before kissing it again.

He continued to kiss down L’s body, then moved his hand so he could take him into his mouth. L’s moans increased in intensity and his hands tugged at Light’s hair; his hips moving to press himself deeper into the warmth of Light’s mouth. Light put his hands on L’s hips and held him in place as he worked his tongue and mouth around him, drawing back to suck on the tip before taking him deep into his throat. He moaned around L’s dick as the sounds he was getting from him excited him just as much, his own need quickly becoming unbearable.

“Light…if you don’t stop…” L panted not wanting to cum without Light, but afraid he couldn’t hold back for much longer. Light grinned and continued to suck as he relieved himself of his own boxers. He then slowly pulled away and lowered himself on top of L, hissing slightly at the complete skin on skin contact. L wrapped his arms around him, leaning up to kiss Light’s face, neck and then his mouth, his desperate need obvious in each kiss. Light reached over to the nightstand, quickly finding the lube and pulled back long enough to use it on himself and then on L, smirking as L moved against his hand. He raised L’s hips and pushed himself forward, groaning loudly as he entered him. L’s hands moved to grip the sides of the bed, his head falling back against the pillows and moving against Light to help him move deeper inside him.

Light began to move almost immediately, slowly at first but then increasing his speed quickly when L wrapped his legs around his waist, and his arms around him again, his nails digging into his back. L needed to be made love to, he had to have it proven to him that he hadn’t destroyed what they had in any permanent way and he could tell by the way Light treated him. This time it wasn’t angry sex, it wasn’t Light displacing his anger and upset into the act, it was pure love he felt and nothing else. Filled with relief he completely relaxed, whispering Light’s name as he moved his hips to meet each thrust, pushing to do more as he reached up and wrapped his fingers around tufts of hair and pulled.

Light growled in response, angling himself to make sure he hit L’s prostate with every powerful thrust. He began to tremble as he felt himself nearing the edge, sweat beading on his forehead and chest, his mind only on the intense pleasure and giving as much as he to L as he was getting. He could feel L’s muscles tightening around him and knew he was close as well, his eyes closed as he moaned Light’s name. “Look at me L, look at me right now!” he nearly growled the order and L’s eyes opened quickly, staring back into Light’s eyes. “I love you…” Light told him, saying it as if it was coming from his deepest part of his body. He then reached under L’s back and pulled him up, moving so that he could stretch his legs and pull L into his lap. His hands braced L’s back as he began to pound up into him, refusing to let himself cum; their eyes still locked into each other’s. L broke contact only when his orgasm overtook him, and shook him right down to his core. Light held him even tighter and then allowed himself to finally release, holding L against him as he thrusted one last time.

“That…was…amazing,” L panted, “I…God I love you…” he added as he struggled to catch his breath. Light nodded as he also struggled with his breathing, kissing the top of L’s head as he continued to hold him in his lap.

“If you really do, you will never scare me like this again,” he finally answered before allowing them both to fall onto the bed. He gathered L in his arms, his head on his shoulder, their legs tangled together.

“Scare you? How did I scare you?” L asked finally, “What did I do to scare you?”

“You left me, without any guarantee you were coming back,” Light answered. L shook his head.

“I told you I would be back Light, I told you that you were my life and that I’d be back, whether or not I straightened out my mind sufficiently or not. I would come back to you.” Light shook his head.

“What you said in the heat of that moment when we were both upset and arguing, and what you would really do when you finally got your mind together could have been two different things,” Light explained, “I was terrified I’d get a phone call that said you weren’t coming back. That you fell back into the life you had before, solitary, cut off from every one, living for the thrill of the case.” L pushed himself up on one elbow and frowned at him.

“You honestly thought that after everything we’ve been through together, to BE together that I could easily just give this up simply because you were out of my sight?” he asked and Light shook his head.

“I never said you could have done it easily, but you’ve been L a lot longer than you’ve been with me,” he sighed and looked at him, “There were times when I wondered exactly which one you would give up if you had to, me or being L. When you didn’t turn me in you managed to come up with a way to keep both, but if it actually came down to it…sometimes I wondered.”

“You have so little faith in me, in our relationship that you actually worry about that?” L said, the hurt obvious in his voice, “How could you imagine such a thing?”

“I never imagined that there would ever be a problem that was too big that we couldn’t work it out together, and yet that happened. It was as if I was watching my greatest fear begin to materialize and I…” L looked away.

“And you went to someone else,” he interrupted and Light sat up, grabbing L and shaking his head violently.

“No…God no and especially not with him!” he said the distaste obvious. “Not only was I without you physically and emotionally, I was without my intellectual equal…I was missing our conversations, discussions, even arguments almost as much as I was missing you. When I met Hayami…intellectually he was close to you and I enjoyed that. There was never anything else, I had no physical attraction to him, there was nothing else about him that interested me at all!” he chuckled, “Unless I wanted to risk a myriad of social diseases.”

L looked at him skeptically. “And I suppose Matsuda has gone mute?” he asked and then chuckled himself when Light raised an eyebrow in amusement. “Sorry, as much as I care for Matsuda I know he isn’t your intellectual equal, that was foolish of me,” he said then reached up and caressed Light’s face, “But it does upset me that you didn’t have the trust in our relationship, or what I feel for you that you allowed yourself to worry about the possibility I wouldn’t come home.”

“It isn’t that I didn’t trust our relationship, or your love for me, but the mere fact that you could just walk away…for whatever reason…shook my idea of our foundation, and terrified me. I’m sorry if that hurts you, I didn’t mean it that way, I just…I just don’t want it to ever happen again. There shouldn’t be anything that we can’t work out together, especially with everything we’ve already dealt with.” L nodded and leaned forward, gently kissing Light’s mouth.

“I can understand that,” he said finally, “It never crossed my mind that you would worry about that because leaving you permanently was the furthest thing from my mind,” he said, “And I apologize for making you feel that I could do something like that. I love you Light, and if I had to make a choice, I would never choose being L over being with you.” Light sighed and kissed him again, running his fingers through his hair, and holding him tightly against him.

L’s thumb came to his mouth in thought as his head lay on Light’s shoulder in thought. He may not have damaged his relationship per se, but he did damage Light. It would take some time before he was completely comfortable again, that his shaken foundation was rock solid again. It didn’t matter how long it took, he would build it back up again.

After a few moments he pulled away. “I think we need a shower. I’m looking forward to my bathroom…the girl’s dorm leaves a lot to be desired.” He said sliding off the bed and Light laughed.

“I can imagine,” he said and slid off of the bed with him, “I’m trying to picture you in a dorm style shower and I can’t.”

L was already in the bathroom and sighed happily. “Now this is a shower,” he said sliding the glass door away from the spacious stall. He reached in and turned on the water then turned and took Light’s hand. Light smiled and followed him into the shower, closing the class doors behind him.

Matsuda called for the third time, beginning to get nervous that he wasn’t getting an answer. He put his phone on the table and ran a hand through his hair.

“Still no answer?” his girlfriend asked as she came into the room with coffee, “Maybe he’s sleeping in today, it is the weekend.” She handed him a cup and he sighed after thanking him.

“It’s not like him to not have his phone nearby anyway Suki,” he said taking a sip, “But maybe you ‘re right.” He took another sip and seemed to make a mental decision. “I think I need to go over and check on him. That slimy Hayami could have talked him into anything. I’d call Wammy but I don’t have his number.”

“I’ll come with you,” Suki said finishing her coffee, “Maybe we can take him out to breakfast; I don’t like him being there alone.”

“Me either…but I think I should go alone, you know, Light’s a very private person.” Suki chuckled and nodded.

“Alright, but let me know what’s going on. You haven’t heard anything from Ryuzaki I take it?”

“No, and I don’t want to call him again. He might get mad at me and Ryuzaki mad, even an ocean away, is not something I look forward to.” She laughed again and stood up from the table, leaning down and giving him a kiss.

“You’re such a good friend,” she said as he stood up. “I’m sure he’s fine and this has nothing to do with that “slimy Hayami” as you put it. I know you’re not going to rest until you know for sure, however. Just remember to call me.” She kissed him again then walked him to the door.

“Thanks Suki for understanding, I’ll be right back as soon as I know he’s okay,” he said before going out of the door.

“It’s part of the reason why I love you Touta,” she called after him then laughed when he ran back and kissed her once more before leaving.

They had made love again while in the shower and finally managed to get out when their hunger for food began to overtake their hunger for each other. They walked out of their bedroom and weren’t completely surprised to smell coffee and food in the main room.

“The phantom Watari strikes again,” Light said then shook his head, putting his hands on his hips as he watched L dry his hair with a towel, “When will you learn that drying your hair that way will break off the ends? Don’t you ever listen to me?”

“Of course I listen to you,” L said drying it even more vigorously, “I listen to you each and every time you tell me. I dislike blowing hot air in my face.” He answered.

“You’re supposed to be blowing it on your hair, not your face, genius,” Light laughed taking the towel away from him and petting down the wild hair. L stared up at him, his thumb at his lips and eyes wide. Light looked at him and shook his head with a chuckle.

“That’s not going to work on me Lawliet,” he said walking towards the table, “Come and get breakfast.” L sighed and followed him to the table.

“I seem to be losing my touch,” he grumbled as Light poured him coffee. He looked down at his phone on the table as it vibrated that he had messages. Light picked it up and shook his head.

“Matsuda has been looking for me,” he said as he flipped through the calls, “Apparently he’s called three times. He’s going to be annoyed.” L sipped his coffee and rolled his eyes.

“Just tell him you were fucking your brains out and he’ll be fine,” he answered almost making Light choke on his coffee. Before he could answer there was a knock on their door, which startled both of them. “Light? Are you in there?” came Matsuda’s voice thru the door. L shook his head and laughed.

“Someone wants you,” he said sitting at the table and deciding what he wanted to eat.

“I’m going to revoke his privileges,” Light said going to the door and opening it to see a very relieved looking Matsuda.

“Oh wow you are okay!” he said with a sigh, “When you didn’t answer after three times I was beginning to worry,” he added walking in the door. “What were you doing that you ignored your phone? You really….” He stopped when a robe-clad L walked into his view, coffee cup in his hands.

“He was busy, do I have to explain what he was busy doing?” Matsuda blinked in surprise.

“You’re home! That’s great, what a relief! I…” then he realized that Light was also in a robe and the color rose to his face. “I…I see. Um...well…welcome home Ryuzaki…I’ll let you continue… I mean I’ll let you get back to what you were doing…I mean…” he just stopped and ran out of the door.

“Thanks for checking on me Matsuda,” Light called after him and closed the door to face a chuckling L. “You know you certainly can be an ass when you want to,” he said walking over to him and taking him in his arms.

“Yes well, did you really want him hanging around asking questions? I care a great deal for Matsuda, he is a great friend and a gifted detective, however, his presence would only be in the way right now.” He leaned forward and kissed him. “I must thank him for taking such good care of you.” Light chuckled and kissed him back before leading him back to the table.

“He did try, I admit I wasn’t the easiest person for him to keep up with,” he admitted, “Especially with this case…” L raised an eyebrow as he reached for fruit.

“Ah yes this case; why don’t we discuss this case over breakfast, I’d like to know more about it…if you don’t mind.” Light nodded as he reached for toast.

“No, I don’t mind, I’d appreciate your thoughts on it,” he said and began to explain.
Obsessed 24
death note, lightxl, lxlight, yaoi
I know, it's been a very long time since I've dropped a journal, the past few months have been very difficult for us in a lot of ways and I've been rather depressed over it, but now I'm pulling out of it. My stories have suffered because of it and I can't have my readers thinking I've given up on my fics!  So I'm currently working on chapters which should all be up this week and I apologize for how long it's been between chapters.

I'm wishing everyone the best damned Christmas and Hanukkah and/or whatever else everyone celebrates or doesn't celebrate just as long as your having fun!!  No matter what you 're doing it's a time for family and friends and fun and I'm hoping you're all getting it the best.

Dialysis remains the same, having made peace with the fact that I'll not be getting a transplant due to my extreme sensitivities and age (new guidelines make it clear that only the very young are going to get the available kidneys because they 'll get the longest use out of it) and although I understand it leaves those of us over 25 in a not so nice position.  But I'm good with it, I've learned how to live my life on dialysis and I can continue to do so. It hasn't stopped me from doing the things I want to do, it just makes me do them a bit slower these days (LOL). 

So all my love to everyone, my readers and followers, and hope to see you all again after the holidays!!


  • Mood: Joy
  • Listening to: my Ipod
  • Reading: my fanfic trying to catch up
  • Watching: The News
Metamorphosis 25

Mello snapped another piece of his chocolate bar as he listened to Matt tell him about his meeting with A.  They were both sitting outside by the lake watching the younger students enjoy their recess.  Now that they ‘d made the offer to A and he had taken it, the next thing to worry about was how B was going to handle the news.

“He seemed happy to know we were looking out for A when I spoke to him,” he said, “He even thanked me, so I don’t think it’s going to be a problem that we take him with us.  Who knows how long he’s going to be locked away in the first place, A can’t stop living because he made a mistake.”

Matt pulled out a cigarette and lit it up.  “You do know they’re going to move Beyond in a few days to a facility and out of the hospital, right?” he asked and Mello nodded with a sigh.

“Yea, I know,” Mello answered laying back on the grass, “They wanted to send him to Broadmoore…” Matt nearly dropped his cigarette.

“Broadmoore? That’s the high security one where they keep serial killers right? Holy shit that would have been awful…” he said and Mello nodded his agreement.

“Wammy got it changed to Maudsley, reminding him that he hadn’t killed anyone and he certainly wasn’t a serial killer.  Apparently there’s a private floor there that’s used for special people, not the general public, and somehow Wammy got him on that floor.  Makes me wonder just who Wammy really is that he’s able to do things like that.”  Matt ran a hand through his hair, pulling his goggles up over his head.

“”Who knows but thank God he is whatever he is,” he said, “That place…I’ve heard nothing but horror stories about Broadmoore, it’s more like a prison than a hospital.  Beyond couldn’t have taken it being in there.”

“Nope, he would have really gone insane there.  As it is, I worry that he’s never going to be himself again anyway, not really.”  Matt reached over and took Mello’s hand.

“Yea, I know you worry about that, I do too a little.  He’s…different and I can’t put my finger on exactly what it is, but I think eventually he’s going to get through this.”  Mello nodded then reached up and pulled Matt down on top of him.

“Every time I look at A I think about what I would do if it were me, if you were locked away from me.” He ran his fingers through the red hair before grabbing a fistful and pulling Matt down and into a kiss; Matt barely blowing his smoke out in time.
“I know what I’d do,” he finally answered himself when his lips left Matt’s, “I’d lose my fucking mind.  You’re everything to me Matt; I don’t think I could function without you anymore.”  Matt grinned at him as he moved hair from in front of the blonde’s eyes.

“I know you’re helpless without me, but that’s okay, I enjoy having job security,” he leaned down to kiss him again when he heard the sound of someone clearing their throat above him.  They both looked up to see Wammy standing in front of them, his arms crossed against his chest, and unhappy look on his face.  

“Have I not made it clear that public displays of affection are not to be done?” he asked them sternly, trying not to laugh as they scrambled quickly away from each other and standing up, Matt hastily dropping the cigarette and stepping on it as he stood up.

“Sorry,” Matt apologized, “I guess we got a little carried away.”

“So it appears,” Wammy agreed, “You know I have no problem with your relationship, however, I cannot speak for every teacher here and I dislike getting phone calls from teachers complaining of lewd behavior in plain view of the younger children.”

“Lewd behavior?” Mello nearly yelled, “We just kissed, it’s not as if we were naked and humping in the grass!” Matt chuckled then stopped when Wammy’s eyes moved to stare at him.

“For some with narrow minds two young men kissing is considered lewd behavior, and not appropriate behavior in front of children, I’m sure I don’t have to explain that to you,” Wammy explained, “Now, come with me, I wish to discuss everything you’ve dealt with in your visits with Beyond and Alexander.”  As he turned and walked away, Mello nodded, looking across to where the children were playing and eyeing what teachers were out there, wondering which ones had complained.  Matt saw him and punched his shoulder.

“Stop it, it’s not worth trying to figure out which one ratted on us,” he said knowing his boyfriend far too well.

“Yea, well it would be worth it to me,” Mello nearly growled and then sighed, “But you’re right, it would cause more trouble than it’s worth.” He reached down and took Matt’s hand, “If they don’t like handholding they can suck my…”

“Mello!” Wammy turned back on him sudden, “I would rather not hear what you are suggesting they suck, thank you very much.”   Matt burst out laughing as Mello’s face reddened; he hadn’t thought Wammy could hear him. He turned on the laughing Matt and pushed him so that he fell over into the grass; still laughing.

The soft knocking finally wormed its way into Light’s subconscious and he woke, sitting up and looking around as to where that sound was coming from.   He rubbed his eyes and realized someone was at the door.  He looked down at the still sleeping Lawliet and smiled, then slid out of the bed quietly and walked out of the bedroom.

“Hey,” he said in surprise as he discovered A on the other side of the door,  “Come on in.”

“Thank you,” A said quietly, “I could understand if you said no…” Light yawned and shook his head.

“Don’t be silly,” he said closing the door behind him, “Lawliet’s still asleep, I’m sure you heard about what happened in the halls.”  A nodded.

“Yea, that’s part of the reason I’m here, I wanted to make sure he was alright.  I mean, in reality, it’s my fault you were both hurt in the first place.”  Light sighed and shook his head.

“It’s not your fault that Beyond became violent; there were other ways to handle what he thought had happened that didn’t involve a knife,” he smiled, “You want something to drink we’ve got juice and ginger beer.”  A nodded giving him a grateful smile.

“Ginger beer would be great,” he answered as Light opened the fridge, “And if you don’t mind, I wonder if I could talk to you about something.”  Light pulled two bottles of the soft drink from the fridge then handed one to A.

“Of course, is something wrong?” he asked moving towards the couch, “Has something happened to BB?”   A shook his head as he joined Light on the couch.

“I don’t know if you were aware of the fact that they’re moving BB from the hospital to a facility where he can continue to get better,” he began and Light nodded.

“I did hear that, do you know where he’s going?”

“Maudsley in London,” A answered, “Wammy says it’s a good place, and maybe he’ll be out of there in six months to a year, depending on how he does.”

“He’s probably right, BB isn’t insane he’s just ill, I’m sure he’ll do well and get out quickly, then you two can get on with your lives.” Light said before taking a sip.

“Yea, that’s what Wammy said too, and he’s supposed to go there in two days but I don’t think they‘ve told him yet.  I think they want me and Wammy there when they tell him, just in case he gets…you know…upset about the move.”

“Well, I guess that makes sense, to have you both there for support,” Light agreed.

“I know, but I also have to tell him about the plans that I’ve made for after graduation with Matt and Mello.  They’ve offered to take me with them, to work with them until BB gets out, I’m just afraid how he’s going to see it. I’d talk to Mello about it but he’s too close to BB, I don’t think he can be objective.”  Light sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“My advice is not to tell him anything until after this move, that’s going to be upsetting enough to him that anything else might push him too far.  We’ve still got several months before graduation, plenty of time to let him know about that.”

“That’s what I was thinking too, I just don’t want him to think I’m hiding anything.”

“You’re not, you’re just waiting for the best time to tell him and after the move would be the best time,” Light advised as he finished his drink, then looked up as there was a quick knock at the door before it opened and Wammy came in pushing a trolley. Both teens stood up as he came in.

“I thought I’d bring food for you and Lawliet,” Wammy said as he pushed the trolley into the room, “A…I didn’t know you were here, but I’m sure there’s enough here if you’d like to join them.”  The blonde shook his head.

“No, thank you Mr. Wammy,” he said putting his bottle down, “I only came to see how Lawliet was and bounce some ideas off of Light,” he sighed, “And I’ll be ready whenever you want to go see BB about the move.”   Wammy nodded as he took things from the trolley and placed them on the table.

“After dinner this evening, about 8:00 p.m.,” he answered and A nodded before turning to Light.

“Thank you for talking to me,” he said before going to the door, “Tell Lawliet I hope he feels better soon.”

“It was no problem,” Light answered, “And I’ll tell him, but you can probably see him later this evening anyway, I’m sure he’ll be awake soon.”   A smiled and with one more quick nod he left the apartment.  Light looked at Wammy as he continued to work on their dinner.

“Thanks Wammy, this looks great,” he said, “Everything Lawliet likes.”  Wammy smiled.

“Yes, I thought I’d treat him a bit, he’s been through quite a lot,” he answered, “I…” he stopped when he heard the bedroom door open to reveal a very sleepy looking Lawliet who was rubbing his eyes.

“I smelled something good,” he said as he tried to hide a yawn, “And I realized I’m very hungry.”  Light chuckled as he moved quickly to Lawliet’s side, putting an arm around him to help him stand.

“You should have stayed in bed, I would have brought something to you,” he scolded and Lawliet shook his head.

“Can I please just sit on the couch for a while, I’m really tired of the bed,” Lawliet whined.  Light looked at Wammy and he nodded.

“Okay, you can sit on the couch for a little while,” Light told him as he moved him over and sat him down.  He smoothed down some of Lawliet’s hair that was even wilder than normal after being in bed and kissed his forehead.  “How are you feeling?” he asked, frowning slightly at the bruise that had formed on his face from Misa’s hit.

“Other than a little groggy, I feel fine, “ Lawliet answered trying to look past Light to the table, “Everything smells so good…” he said and Light chuckled as Wammy brought over a dish filled with food and placed it on the coffee table in front of the teen.

“Here you are, I’m sure there’s a lot more taste in this than in the hospital food you‘ve been eating for the past two weeks,” he said with a smile, then frowned himself when he saw the bruise on Lawliet’s face.  “My she did use a great deal of force didn’t she?” he said placing his fingers under the boy’s chin and examining the mark.  Lawliet pulled his face away, still embarrassed over the situation.

“I’m fine,” he grumbled as he reached for his plate.

“I could kill her for that,” Light nearly growled, his anger returning as he thought about what could have happened.

“No talking of killing anyone,” Wammy said turning to look at him, “After recent events even saying it in jest is no longer allowed.”  Light’s eyes narrowed as his gaze traveled from Lawliet’s face to Wammy’s.

“I didn’t say I was jesting,” he said the anger still strong, “She could have sent him back to the hospital, she could have really hurt him…”

“Light, I’m fine,” Lawliet soothed reaching out and taking the brunette’s hand and smiling at him,  “So take a deep breath and stop being angry.  Get something to eat and join me.”  Light ran a hand through his hair and did take a deep breath before smiling back.

“Okay, I guess I am pretty hungry now that I think about it,” he squeezed Lawliet’s hand before turning and getting something to eat.  Wammy went into the kitchen and made himself a cup of tea, then joined the teens in the living room.

“I thought I should bring you up-to-date on what’s happening with Alexander and Beyond,” he said stirring his tea, “Because ultimately it will affect you.”    

Lawliet stopped mid-bite and shook his head.  “I don’t care what’s happening with Beyond, anymore than he cares what’s happening with me.  Our relationship as brothers or anything else is over.”

“I understand your feelings Lawliet,” Wammy said, “But for your own peace of mind…”

“I don’t care Wammy!” Lawliet shouted startling both Light and Wammy.  Light reached out and rubbed his back.

“It’s okay Lawliet, calm down,” he soothed, noticing that the teen had begun to tremble.  He looked up at Wammy and shook his head, suggesting that nothing more be said about Beyond.  The older man understood and nodded.

“Alright Lawliet nothing more will be said,” he said and finished his tea before standing up.  “I have an appointment in a bit and we will have out meeting when I return.  I think you should sit this one out, Lawliet.”

“That sounds good,” Light said continuing to rub Lawliet’s back, “He could use the extra night’s rest anyway.”  Lawliet turned to look at him, a grateful smile on his face even if it didn’t reach his wide eyes  that were still filled with unease.  Wammy rested a hand on Lawliet’s shoulder.”

“I’m sorry Wammy, I…I didn’t mean to raise my voice to you,” he apologized.

“It’s alright, I understand.  For right now just enjoy your dinner, and I’ll check on you when I return,” he said with a smile, getting a nod from the teen before he turned and left the apartment.  He was quite concerned about Lawliet’s obvious fear of Beyond.  While it would be natural for him to be wary after everything that had happened, the depth of the fear seemed excessive.  He’d deal with that later, right now he had to deal with telling Beyond he was being moved.

When he had closed the door behind him, Lawliet sighed heavily and looked at Light in embarrassment.

“I’m really sorry I did that, it just…I just…I’m terrified of Beyond Light, I’m so afraid of what he might do to me if he ever gets out…” Light put down his dinner and pulled Lawliet to him, wrapping his arms around him.

“Of course you ‘re afraid of him, he tried to fucking kill us.  Believe me I’m not overly thrilled with him either right now but I’m also sure that by the time we see him again he’ll be well and not a danger to us.  I know it’s got to be worse for you, you’re brothers and no matter how much you didn’t get along before, this is the last thing you expected to happen.  Don’t apologize, I understand.”   Lawliet clung to Light’s shirt, his face buried against his chest as he fought against tears.

“I love you Light,” he whispered against him.  Light reached down and pulled him away from his chest, moving wild hair from his face, before leaning down to kiss him gently.

“I love you too, and you’ll get through this.  Right now let’s just work on you getting stronger and finish healing; let’s not think about Beyond.”  Lawliet nodded and reached up running fingers through Light’s hair.

“Let me help you back to bed, then I’ll clean this up and lie down with you until time for the meeting; we can watch some TV.” He kissed the top of Lawliet’s head before wrapping an arm around him to help him stand.  He brought him back into the bedroom, got him into bed and then kissed him again.

“I’ll be right back, I’m just going to put the dishes away.”  

“Okay, I’ll pick out something to watch,” Lawliet said grabbing the remote as Light walked out of the room, “Bring back a snack!” he added making Light laugh; as long as Lawliet wanted his sweets he knew he was okay.

BB was startled awake by the sound of the door opening in his room.  He sat up quickly hoping to see A again, but instead it was two male orderlies and his doctor.  He knew immediately something was up, they had never brought in two assistants before, usually just one along with the doctor or nurse that was going to treat him.  His eyes narrowed as he stared at them.

“Good evening Beyond,” the doctor said far too cheerfully for BB’s liking, “I’m sorry to wake you but I have something to discuss with you.  I originally wanted to wait until your family members had arrived but unfortunately the timing has changed and we need to get moving now.”

“What are you talking about?” BB asked as the two orderlies flanked either side of him; the doctor pulling a chair closer to him.

“We are simply the psychiatric floor of the hospital,” the doctor began, “You have been coming along just fine, however, we believe you’re going to need more in-depth and sustained care to get you to the point where you can leave and live your life the way you wish to.  In that vein, we are going to move you to  Maudsley Hospital, an institution where you can get the best care possible.”

BB was furious but he knew if he showed the least bit of anger or tried to fight it, they ‘d only restrain him again and he didn’t want that.  Why wasn’t A here? Did he even know they were moving him?  Would A know where to find him?  He fought back the panic, keeping himself breathing as naturally as he could.   He nodded and looked up at the doctor.

“Alright, fine, I understand,” he said finally, “But can I see Alexander first so that he knows where I’m going?” he asked.  The doctor shook his head.

“We’ll contact him and let him know that you’re going,” he said, “We were planning to move you in a couple of days so you could get used to the idea, but it appears they want to get you there tonight so they can set up tests and evaluations first thing in the morning.   So there’s no time for that right now, I’m afraid.”  He tried to fight it but he could feel the panic rising inside of him.  

“But I have to talk to him first, I have to make sure he knows…I can’t just leave he’ll be worried…” he began and the doctor nodded at the two others who moved closer to BB.

“I understand your concern and this was not the way we had planned it, but we have no choice in the matter.” He stood up and reached into his pocket, going over to the IV set up by BB’s bed.  One of the orderlies reconnected the IV to the port in BB’s hand.  

“Now you just lie down and relax, I’m going to give you something to let you sleep and when you wake up, you‘ll be in your new room.”  BB shook his head, he didn’t want to go to sleep, he wanted to talk to A, he had to talk to A, he was terrified of what was happening and he needed A.  

“No…please let me talk to Alexander first, please…” he begged, something he never did and he hated it.  His only answer was to be forced down on his back as the doctor injected the medication into the IV.

“You just relax Beyond, and you’ll be there soon,” he said soothingly.  Beyond thought quickly and allowed himself to relax, let his eyes flutter closed.  The Doctor watched him for a moment then nodded to the other two to let him go.  They did and they all turned and walked out of the room, the door locking behind them.  The moment they were gone BB turned on his side, knowing his back was to the security camera, reached across with one hand and slowly removed the iv from the port in the other hand.  After a few moments he slid the needle into the bandage next to the port so it looked as if it were still connected to him.  He began to take deep breaths, realizing that if he’d waited just a moment more it would have been too late and he would have been asleep.

His mind worked on what he would do; he didn’t understand why A wasn’t there, why he didn’t tell him himself that they were going to move him when he was there earlier.  Did Matt and Mello know and they just didn’t tell him either?  He tried to fight the feeling of betrayal that was creeping in on him, they were his best friends, and they wouldn’t do that to him.  But he had to see A, he had to let him know they were taking him away before it was too late.

After about ten minutes he decided the medicine had passed thru and out of the IV and it would be safe for him to put it back into the port.  Moving very slowly he did just that, waiting for a moment to see if he felt drowsy at all and when he didn’t he smiled.  They’d think he was out cold, put him into some kind of ambulance and try to transport him, but it wouldn’t work. He wasn’t going anywhere except to see A.

Just as Wammy was making his way to the car, smiling when he saw A was already there waiting for him, his phone rang.  He opened the doors and slid in beside A as he answered, surprised it was the hospital.

“Quillish Wammy; Good evening doctor, yes, well we’re on our way,” he said, “We should be there in about ten…what do you mean it’s too late?”

A’s heart nearly stopped when he heard those words; what did he mean it was too late? “Wammy what’s happened?  Is BB okay?” he asked and then nearly backed away when he saw the look of intense anger on Wammy’s face.

“Have you any idea how incredibly stupid and dangerous this action is?  We will be at Maudsley as quickly as possible.”  He closed the phone and looked at A.

“They decided to move Beyond without waiting for us to arrive; we’ve got to get to Maudsley immediately!”    A tried not to panic as he flew into the car, but his heart was racing in fear.  

“Why Mr. Wammy, why did they do that when they knew we were coming?” he asked as the car took off down the driveway.

”Because they’re incredibly stupid,” Wammy nearly growled, “Be ready for anything from Beyond when we get there; I’m sure he will feel betrayed and frightened and this will put his advances at risk.”  A nodded and sat back in the seat, terrified of what he would find when he saw Beyond.

Beyond continued to feign sleep, listening to everything that was happening as they placed him in a stretcher and moved him out of the building and into a waiting ambulance.  He endured their checking his vitals and securing the stretcher so it wouldn’t move during the drive.  One attendant stayed by his side as the other went to drive the vehicle.  As they began to move, BB risked cracking open one eye to see his surroundings.  The attendant was sitting on his right side watching the traffic outside of the ambulance rather than watching him.  He imagined it was because he was supposed to be asleep, what kind of trouble would a sleeping teen be.  There was only one strap across his abdomen to keep him from falling from the stretcher, but his hands and arms were free and most importantly, so were his legs.

The rational side of him told him this was wrong, it was only going to make things worse, he should wait until he could get in contact with A. But what if they didn’t let him talk to A? There had to be a reason why A didn’t tell him about the move and it could only be because he didn’t know, this was all being done in secret; keeping A away from him.  He wouldn’t let that happen.  He suddenly reached up and grabbed the attendant by his shoulders, pulling him down quickly towards his knees that he immediately brought up as hard as he could, smashing them into the attendants face.  He heard the crunch of the cartilage in the attendant’s nose, saw blood fly as the man fell forward on to the stretcher and then sliding off onto the floor, out cold.  He quickly undid the strap across his abdomen and sat up going to the door.  He looked out of the window trying to gauge how fast they were going and if there was any traffic behind them.  At the moment it seemed clear and he realized it was probably his best chance, he took a deep breath, threw open the doors and jumped out of the moving ambulance, rolling as he landed trying to aim himself to the side of the road to get out of traffic.

When he finally stopped rolling he lay there for a few minutes trying to catch his breath and check himself to see if he broke anything.  He could see the back end of the ambulance as it continued down the highway; apparently the driver hadn’t realized what had happened yet, but soon would.  He sat up and checked himself, scratched and scraped but nothing worse than that.  He got up and made his way to the other side of the street and stuck out his thumb, hoping to get a ride quickly.  They hadn’t been on the road that long, he should have no trouble getting back to Wammy’s fairly quickly as long as he got a ride soon.

Wammy and A pulled up in front of Maudsley, with A practically running out of the car before it had stopped moving.  Wammy went to the desk and asked for BB’s room,  and the receptionist shook her head.

“This patient has not been brought in yet, he has not yet arrived.”   Wammy looked at A and back at the receptionist.

“But that’s not possible, he was picked up from the hospital almost an hour ago, he should have been here by now.”  The receptionist shook her head then picked up her phone and dialed the director and asked about the patient.  As she listened she looked shocked and then hung up, looking up at Wammy.

“It seems there’s been a problem, the patient managed to escape from the ambulance…” before she could finish Wammy and A had both run out of the building back to the car.

“If he’s escaped he’s on his way back to Wammy’s, probably going to find you because he doesn’t understand why he was being moved and you weren’t there…”   A fought back the panic as he thought about what B could have done.

“Did he hurt the ambulance driver? He didn’t…”

“I don’t believe he killed him if that’s what you’re worried about,” Wammy said, “But I’m sure he had to injure him somehow to get away.  We’ve got to get back to Wammy’s, if he doesn’t find you he’s going to go after Lawliet.  They jumped into the car and took off immediately, heading back to the school.

After the movie, Light looked at his watch and sighed.  “I need to go to the meeting,” he said sitting up and kissing Lawliet’s forehead. “Promise me you’ll behave yourself until I get back.”  Lawliet pouted but then nodded.

“I’ll stay right here and watch television,” he said, “Could you get me some more strawberries and tea before you leave and then I should be fine.”  Light chuckled and kissed him softly.

“More strawberries?  Absolutely,” he leaned forward and kissed him again, this time deeply and with as much love as he could put into it. “I can’t wait until you’re healed again, we were only able to make love once before all of this happened.”  Lawliet nodded and caressed his face.

“I know, I have a lot to make up to you and just as soon as I can, you know I will,” he said and leaned up and kissed him back, “I love you Light, thank you for staying with me.” Light smiled and nodded.

“Don’t thank me, I couldn’t leave if I wanted to; I love you Lawliet, even if you are a pain in the ass.” He laughed and then ducked as Lawliet swung at him then went out to get his strawberries and tea.

BB thanked the young man who gave him a ride to just outside of Wammy’s and jumped out of the car.  He made his way to the wall that surrounded the property and looked to see if any of the guards were patrolling the walls.  He noticed there were only a couple and he knew his way in and out of this place and made his way to a part of the wall that was very rarely patrolled, climbing up the wall and scurrying over it and across the grounds to the front door.

Once inside he put on the persona of his brother, making his way to his old room, assuming A would be there.  He opened the door and went inside, quickly closing the door behind him. “A?” he called, “A it’s me, where are you?”  he looked around the room and realized his lover wasn’t there.  What did that mean? Was he with Mello and Matt perhaps?  He nodded and headed to their room and stopped before knocking…he could tell by the sounds coming from behind the door that they were obviously alone hearing the sounds of kissing.  He smiled to himself; A certainly wouldn’t be in there with all that going on.  He stopped smiling when he realized the only other place A had to be then; with Lawliet.  If he wasn’t in their room, and not with Matt and Mello, where else could he be?   His eyes narrowed and he growled to himself, moving towards the stairway towards Lawliet’s apartment.  He ducked his head several times as students walked by, thinking he was his brother and asking if he was feeling better, his only answer a cursory nod.

Light made his way to Wammy’s apartment running into Near along the way.  The white haired genius smiled at him as he got closer.

“Hey Light, how’s Lawliet tonight?”   Light smiled back as he answered.

“Doing very well Near, shoving as many sweets down his throat as possible,” they both laughed and then went inside the apartment just as Matt and Mello came up behind him.  He looked around the apartment surprised he didn’t see Wammy.

“This is a first, Wammy not being here,” he said still looking around.  

“He and A had to go visit BB,” Mello said walking in, “To let him know he was being moved so he wouldn’t freak out when it happened.  It might be taking them longer than they expected.”  Light nodded his understanding.

“Lawliet wouldn’t even talk about BB,” he said, “Wammy tried to tell him what was going on and he just freaked.”

“Can’t say I blame him,” Matt answered, “It’s gotta do something to you when your own flesh and blood tries to kill you.”   Light nodded and then sat down.

“Has anyone heard from Wammy at all?” he asked noting the time.

“No, and it’s not like him to be late, even if he had something else to do, without calling,” Near said, his fingers twirling in his hair.

Light shook his head. “No, it’s not like him,” he reached to take his phone out of his pocket, “I think I should…” before he could finish his phone rang in his hand and he laughed, “It’s Wammy, what are the odds…” he said answering the call.

Beyond made it upstairs and to Lawliet’s door without a problem.  He tried the door and of course it was unlocked, Lawliet never locked a door.  He went inside and gently closed the door behind him; looking around to see if he could see or hear A anywhere.  He could hear the television in the bedroom and decided that’s where they had to be, which didn’t make him happy at all.   He made his way into the kitchen, opening drawers quietly until he found what he needed then walked to the bedroom.

“Wammy this is so unlike you to be late,” Light said, “I hope everything’s okay…”

“No, nothing is okay,” Wammy said, “Where are you right now?”

“In your apartment,” Light said filled with sudden worry, “Why what’s happened?”

“Beyond has escaped and I believe once he finds out that A isn’t there he will confront Lawliet. You need to get to him and make sure he’s safe, I should be there very shortly.” Light cursed, closed the call and began to move at the same time.

“BB has escaped,” he said to everyone who was staring at him in concern, “Wammy thinks he’s on his way here…I’ve got to get to Lawliet!” he turned and ran out of the room, followed by the others.

BB made his way to the bedroom and stopped at the door.  Lawliet was sitting up in bed eating strawberries and watching television, but A was nowhere to be seen.  Where could he be if he wasn’t here?  He walked into the room, one hand behind his back.

“Where is he Lawliet? What have you done with him?”   Lawliet’s head snapped up, his worst fear materialized in front of him.   He backed up against the back of the bed as far as he could.

“How did you get out? How did you get here?” he cried, his heart beating wildly in fear; the smile on BB’s face not helping at all.

“They thought they could separate me from A,” BB said moving closer to him, “So that he couldn’t find me but I can’t let that happen.  Is he here with you Lawliet? I can’t find him so I just assumed he was here…” he trailed off looking around the room, still keeping one hand behind his back.

“No no no he’s not here Beyond, I haven’t seen him since earlier today when he and Light were talking.  Please….Beyond…don’t hurt me anymore…” he begged as he pressed himself against the wall.

“No…he’s not here,” Beyond said almost to himself, “But where is he then? Do you know?” he moved closer to Lawliet until he was nearly on top of him, “Tell me where he is!” he demanded pulling the arm from behind him and waving the knife he had taken from the kitchen.  Lawliet screamed in fear, raising his arms in front of him to try to protect himself.

“I don’t know, I don’t know please I don’t know!!” he cried out, tears running down his face, his entire body trembling.

“NO!!! Don’t you hurt him again!” a scream of anger and fear came from behind them, Light screaming from the doorway as he tried to run in.  

“Don’t Light!” Lawliet screamed the warning remembering what happened the last time, and Mello and Matt grabbed Light before he could run in, afraid BB would turn on him if he did.  BB turned around, his smile wavering for just a moment when he saw Light trying to run in. He then saw his best friend and began to move towards him.

“You stay where you are!” he shouted to Light then turned to his friend, “Mello they’re trying to take me away from A, and Lawliet won’t tell me where he is!” he said almost in a childlike whine, “I wasn’t going to hurt him unless he didn’t tell me where A is!”  Mello let go of Light and shook his head walking towards BB, his hands outstretched.  Matt knew if anyone other than A could calm him down it would be Mello, but he was terrified not knowing which way BB could go.

“I know you don’t want to hurt anyone,” he said calmly, “You know A wouldn’t want you to hurt anyone again.  He was on his way to see you, I guess he missed you before they were going to transport you. I’m sure he’s on his way here now, so please, just put down the knife.”  BB listened, his own tears beginning to run down his face as he shook his head.

“He was coming, are you sure?” he asked lowering the knife as he talked.

“Yes BB he was on his way, he knew they were going to move you and he wanted to be there. Now he heard what happened and he’s on his way,” he kept walking towards him, “You didn’t hurt anyone on your way here did you?” he asked.

“I think I might broken a guy’s nose,” BB answered with a small chuckle, “But that’s all; I hitchhiked here but I didn’t hurt anyone,” he looked at Mello imploringly, “A’s going to be angry with me isn’t he?”  Mello shook his head.

“No, he’s just worried about you, but he won’t be angry with you.  Now, give me the knife, BB.” He asked, extending his hand even further to take the knife.  BB began to hand it to him then snatched it back, shaking his head.

“Not until I see A,” he said stubbornly, “I’ll give it to A when I see him.”  Light was still fighting with Matt for him to let him go so he could get to Lawliet. He could tell he was completely losing it curled up in the bed staring in terror at BB.

“BB…please let me go to Lawliet,” he begged, “Please!”  BB shook his head.

“Why should he have you when I don’t have A?” he asked turning back to look at Lawliet.  “That just isn’t fair…”

He was interrupted by the sounds of sirens coming closer to the building, their flashing lights becoming visible through the windows.  BB turned back to Mello in alarm.

“Don’t let them take me until I see A, don’t let them take me!” he begged.

“You have to give me the knife or they will,” Mello warned, “They don’t know you like I do BB, all they know is you escaped and you have a knife, that’s not good.”

“I don’t care, I have to see A first,” BB stubbornly insisted, “I’ll give it to him.”

“I’m here, give it to me BB,” A’s voice came from behind Light and Matt.  He walked into the room and directly to BB until they were face to face, “Give me the knife.” He repeated again, holding out his hand.  BB began to cry earnestly, dropping the knife into his lover’s hand then throwing his arms around him.

“They were going to take me away from you, where you couldn’t find me, I couldn’t let that happen.” He cried against him as A held him against his chest, handing the knife to Mello who quickly took it and moved to the kitchen, not wanting anyone in authority to think BB had it and make things worse.  Light broke away from Matt and ran past A and BB to Lawliet, gathering the trembling teen in his arms, rocking him back and forth to try and calm him.  

Wammy had been keeping the police and Maudsley attendants at bay, telling them it was best they let A handle it, and moved aside to let them go into the room.   A saw them coming and stroked BB’s back.

“BB, they’ve come to take you where you need to be so you’re safe,” he whispered, “I’m going to ride with you.”  BB nodded against him then looked up at him tearfully.

“Are you mad at me? I had to see you,” he asked and A smiled at him.

“I’m not mad BB, but next time just call me, okay ?” he said and BB smiled and nodded as two attendants moved to either side of him, taking his arms.   They moved him out of the room, accompanied by the police.  A began to follow them and Wammy grabbed his arm.

“I’ll be following in the car.  You did an excellent job,” he told him.  A nodded then moved to catch up with BB.

Matt went to Mello and held him, this was unhappily reminiscent of the first time BB lost control, but at least this time there was no blood and BB seemed to be calmer after seeing A.

“That was amazing Mello,” he told him, “I just wish you’d stop scaring the piss out of me. God do I need a cigarette…”   Mello had to chuckle at that and nodded.

“Yea and I could do with a breath of fresh air, and they need to be alone, come on,” he said gesturing towards Light and Lawliet.  He took Matt’s hand and they walked out of the apartment.  Near watched them go then looked at Wammy; he looked as if he’d aged a few years in just that few moments time.  It had felt like forever but in reality it had only been less than ten minutes.  

“If you’d like, I can ride with you Wammy,” he said, “I don’t think you should be driving alone after all of this.”  Wammy smiled at the young albino and nodded.

“I think I would appreciate that Near; just let me talk to Lawliet and I’ll be right with you.”  

“I’ll go down and wait at the car,” he said and went downstairs, weaving through the crowd of students that had gathered in the halls wondering what had happened.

Wammy went over to the two as they held each other, putting a hand on Light’s shoulder.

“He didn’t hurt you at all did he?” he asked Lawliet who shook his head, his face buried in Light’s chest.  “I’m so sorry this happened.  Rest assured that those in charge at the hospital who moved him without our seeing him will be taken care of, they are the cause of this relapse.  You need to try and sleep now Lawliet, you must be exhausted.” The boy shook his head, never raising it from Light’s chest.

“I can’t, I can’t sleep!  I’ll keep seeing him standing over me again with that knife every time I close my eyes like before. I can’t…I can’t…” he cried burying himself deeper into Light’s chest.

“I’ll get you something to help you sleep, you need to rest, so much as happened today,” Wammy said then left quickly.

Light continued to rub Lawliet’s back, rocking him back in forth in his harms, kissing the top of his head, trying to reassure him that everything was fine now, they were both fine and it was all over.

“It will never be over, not until he’s dead,” Lawliet cried his hands digging into Light’s back.

“No…no he’ll get better Lawliet,  and he won’t be a danger to anyone any more.  Until then he’s going to be locked away; he won’t be able to get out from that hospital.”   Lawliet said nothing, he only continued to cry against Light’s chest.

Wammy came back and quickly walked over to them, moving Lawliet’s clothes to get to his hip.

“I’m giving you something to help you rest,” he told him, then looked at Light, “This should take effect quickly and you both can get some rest.”   Lawliet shook his head and began to move away from Wammy.

“I don’t want to sleep, I don’t want to sleep, Light don’t let him put me to sleep…” he pleaded trying to get away.  Light held onto him tightly talking softly in his ear.

“It will be okay, I’m right here, no one is going to hurt you again,” he whispered holding him tightly against his chest as Wammy administered the shot making the teen cry out softly.

“I’ve got to go meet A, but I will check on you both when I get back,” he squeezed Light’s shoulder then ran out of the room.

Light waited until the shot took effect, feeling Lawliet suddenly relax against him, his hands finally dropping away from clutching his shirt tightly.  He lay him down on the bed pulling the blankets over him. He removed his own clothes, then climbed into bed beside him.

As he gathered Lawliet in his arms again, he finally broke himself.  The tears of the terror he felt running in there and seeing BB with a knife over Lawliet, having to watch Lawliet cower in fear, pressed up against the back of the bed as hard as he could nearly killed him.  He knew that if BB had decided to hurt him he wouldn’t have been able to reach him before he struck at least once and that could have been enough.  He held Lawliet tightly as he cried, his mind going over everything that could have gone wrong and that he could have lost Lawliet.

When he was finally cried out he buried his face in Lawliet’s hair and closed his eyes, trying not to jump at every little sound as he finally fell asleep.
Wammy finally made it back to his quarters and turned on the monitors to Lawliet’s apartment.  He had just heard of the altercation between he and Misa and he decided to give himself a few minutes to get control of his anger before going to see the young man.  He couldn’t imagine what possessed him to venture down into the school area in his condition; but he was going to find out.  First he’d make sure he hadn’t caused himself damage, but right after that he was planning to have several stern words with him ad renew the threat about restraints. But for a few moments he would just see how Lawliet was doing until he calmed down.  As he watched, he became concerned when he saw the boy on the phone and looking extremely upset.  He turned and walked out of his room quickly.

Lawliet stopped breathing, everything within him feeling like jelly as BB’s voice went through him.

“Lawliet? Are you there?” he heard, accompanied by a slight giggle.

“I…what do you want?” he finally managed to get out.

“I’m just checking to see how you are, I heard you finally left the hospital.  I wanted to make sure you were healing well.”

“I’m fine Beyond,” Lawliet told him trying to keep his voice level and steady, “ Not that you really care anyway.  Is there anything else because I really don’t have anything to say to you.”

“I imagined not, but I have a few things to say to you. I’ve been told that part of my recovery depends on my getting things off of my chest, letting go of certain emotions. So to begin with, I would like to say that I am sorry for Light’s injuries, I didn’t mean to hurt him, so I’m glad he’s healed.”  Lawliet said nothing, waiting to see where he was going with this.

“I also did not mean to cause you such grievous injuries either, obviously I was not myself.  That doesn’t mean that I’m not upset with you Lawliet; I still feel all of this was because of your putting your nose into what didn’t concern you.  Our relationship, which was never very good anyway, is irreparably damaged in my opinion; I see no way this can be repaired, can you?”

“I suppose not, but you’ve always hated me anyway, so this really amounts to nothing new,” Lawliet answered.

“I never hated you until now Lawliet,” Beyond told him, “But I never really liked you either, I simply tolerated you.  But right now, I do hate you because you are the cause of all of this.  You couldn’t leave well enough alone, you couldn’t leave Alexander alone.” L frowned.

“I was trying to help…”

“By putting him in your little group? Helping him do what I didn’t want him to do? You were meddling Lawliet, wanting him to look on you with favor, trying to take the one thing I had away from me.”  Lawliet shook his head against the phone.

“No…no Beyond I never thought that!  I admit that maybe I thought it was something I could do for him that you couldn’t, but I would never try to take him from you. Why would I, when I have Light?”

“Why? Because you like being above me, having what I don’t have, being better than I am.  You have your little project; your little “L” will be the best detective in the world one-day project.  Wammy has always doted on you from day one, breaks rules for you, creates an entire world and persona for you and even creates lackeys to back you up in case you get the sniffles. I decide to opt out at being one of your lackeys and you find a way to pull Alexander back in, just to spite me.”

“That isn’t true Beyond…” Lawliet protested quietly, not hearing the sudden knocking on his front door.

“But it’s okay because he’s with me now, and you won’t ever be able to get your hooks into him again.  So you see dear brother, it all started with you and you have to take as much responsibility for what happened as I do.  Just as I’m paying for what I’ve done, one day you’ll have to pay for what you did.” Lawliet hung his head, Beyond’s words suddenly making sense to him, filling him with guilt.

“You’re right, “ he said almost in a whisper, tears sliding down his face, “I am responsible for pushing you too far; I didn’t mean to Beyond, I really didn’t…”

“Lawliet! What’s wrong?” he looked up startled to see Wammy standing at the foot of his bed, who then moved quickly to take the phone, “Who is this?” he demanded.

“Ahhh Wammy coming to his rescue yet again,” Beyond murmured into his ear.

“Beyond? What is the meaning of this? What have you said to him?” Wammy asked in alarm as Lawliet slid down into the bed, turning his back to him.

“I’m merely doing my doctors’ bidding, expressing my feelings so they don’t fester and grow inside and make me violent again.  You have no idea how much better I feel.  Good-night Wammy.” Wammy heard the unnerving giggle and the click as the call was ended then turned to Lawliet.  He had come in to give him a piece of his mind after hearing what transpired outside of Light’s classroom, but now that was all but forgotten.  He reached down and placed his hand on Lawliet’s shoulder.

“Son, I don’t know what he said but…”

“He said this whole thing was my fault, and he was right, this was all my fault.  I pushed him into losing his mind and hurting us.  I’m sorry…” Wammy sighed and shook his head.

“Nothing you did warranted his behavior Lawliet, Beyond has always been walking a thin line of control and that isn’t your fault.  You can’t blame yourself for what happened, he’s simply trying to prey on your mind, don’t let him do that.”  Lawliet wiped at his eyes then turned around to face him.

“My first thought was to help A, he was practically distraught when he was talking to me about feeling useful, and I just wanted to help him.  I did feel that I had something over Beyond in that I could do something to make A happy that he couldn’t, but I wasn’t trying to come between them, I wasn’t trying to make A like me more than Beyond.  I never meant to hurt Beyond in anyway!”

“You don’t have to tell me that Lawliet, I know all of that.  But Beyond isn’t going to accept all the responsibility for what he’s done, I don’t think he can mentally handle that burden so of course he’s going to put some on your shoulders.  It wasn’t your fault what A did; and it was that act that pushed Beyond over the edge, not anything that you did.”

Lawliet listened and nodded his head, running a hand through his hair. “I guess not,” he admitted and sighed, “but I’m sure he’s going to try and make me pay somehow.”

“I wouldn’t worry about that,” Wammy said with a smile, “I’m sure it’s going to be quite a while before he leaves the hospital, and when he does this will all be behind him and probably forgotten.” Lawliet nodded again and took a deep breath.

“Thank you Wammy,” he said and began to lie down again, “I’m suddenly very tired.” He added.

“I can’t imagine why,” Wammy said crossing his arms, “It’s not as if you went downstairs to the classrooms and got attacked by an irate young woman.  I simply don’t understand.”   Lawliet cringed under the blankets, not wanting to look back at Wammy.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, “Light forgot his book, I thought he would need it.  I didn’t expect Misa…”

“I’m sure you didn’t. I trust you have learned your place is in this bed, or at most on the couch until you have healed sufficiently?”  Lawliet nodded again, still refusing to look at him.  Wammy sighed and gently touched his shoulder.

“Fine, then that is all I have to say about the matter.  Let me look at your bandages, I wish to make sure there’s no bleeding,” L nodded and Wammy pulled back the sheets to inspect his back.  When he was satisfied there had been no harm done he pulled the blankets back over Lawliet.  “I’ll postpone the meeting for this evening here; I’ll have the others meet with me in my apartment.  You get some rest and don’t worry about Beyond.  I will see you with dinner in a while.”  Lawliet nodded again, barely this time as he had begun to fall asleep.  Wammy left the room and went into the living room just as Light came flying through the door, relieved to see that Wammy was there.

“How is he, he didn’t open up any wounds did he?” he asked dropping everything he was carrying onto the couch.

“No, he appears to be fine, simply exhausted of course,” he answered, “He did receive a rather unsettling call from Beyond.”  Light stared at the older man in shock.

“Beyond? Why?” he asked heading for the bedroom.

“As a pretense of clearing his mind of volatile emotions, when in reality it was to share the blame of what happened with Lawliet, and to suggest that he also had to pay for his part in the fiasco.  It upset him, but I told him it was only Beyond trying to unsettle his mind, there was no truth in what he said and that seemed to calm him somewhat.  He is sleeping now.”

Light turned to see that Lawliet was indeed sleeping peacefully, sighed and closed the door to the room.

“I imagine you know what happened between he and Misa earlier?” he asked coming back into the living room.

“Yes, and there will have to be something done about that, but I’ll let Roger set whatever punishment she is to get; I may not be particularly fair about it.” He answered with a smile and Light smiled back.

“I understand, believe me,” he looked back at the bedroom door and turned back to Wammy.  “I never got a chance to thank you for allowing me to stay after my father turned on me, you didn’t have to do that.”  

“There is no need to thank me, Light. You are so very close to graduating, you have already been through so much, and Lawliet…well Lawliet would have never accepted anything else.  I know what you mean to him, he would have left with you,” he smiled again, “And I couldn’t have that could I?”  Light chuckled and shook his head.

“No, I guess not,” he answered, “You really think of Lawliet as your own son don’t you?” he asked and Wammy turned his gaze back on the closed door and nodded.

“I have from the moment he first arrived here at age 10,” he said with a smile, “All the children here are brilliant but there was something about Lawliet that made him so very different from the others, and his need for acceptance while on the outside he acted as if he couldn’t care less.  As I’m sure you know, that exterior hides a fragile interior and that he believes all he has is his intelligence.  I have tried to make him realize there is more to him than that, something I believe your relationship with him has helped a great deal,” he sighed and then turned back to Light, “I must go and make sure I have all the files ready for this evening.  You are all ready to start working your own cases and I have several new ones available to you, so I will see you later.”  Light nodded and walked him to the door. “Although I’m sure he’s learned his lesson, make sure he stays where he is for the rest of the evening.”

“Don’t worry about that, I’ll make sure,” Light promised before closing the door behind him.    He was about to go into the kitchen and make something when there was a knock on the door.  He turned back and opened it and found Near on the other side holding a small bag.

“I heard Lawliet was back and I just wanted to see how he was,” the young Albino told him, “Is he okay?”  Light nodded.

“He is,” he answered, “In spite of his being attacked by Misa earlier.”

“Oh then that did happen,” Near said, “I heard something about that as well but it didn’t seem to make much sense to me, even for Misa.”  Light laughed and shook his head.

“Yea, well unfortunately it is the type of thing she‘s capable of,” he gestured toward the bedroom door, “He’s sleeping right now otherwise I’m sure he’d be glad to see you. Maybe by tonight’s meeting he’ll be awake and you can visit then.”  Near nodded.

“Oh I almost forgot, here’s a kind of welcome home gift, jelly beans. I know he likes them a lot and he probably hasn’t had any for a while.” He said offering the bag.  Light took the bag with a smile and nodded.

“He’s going to love this, thanks Near,” he said, “See you later.”  Near smiled and nodded and turned to leave as Light closed the door.  He walked into the bedroom and placed the bag of jellybeans on the side table by the bed.  He set the alarm on his watch for two hours later, kicked off his shoes, climbed into the bed next to Lawliet wrapping a protective arm around him and snuggling against him.
I know, it's been a very long time since I've dropped a journal, the past few months have been very difficult for us in a lot of ways and I've been rather depressed over it, but now I'm pulling out of it. My stories have suffered because of it and I can't have my readers thinking I've given up on my fics!  So I'm currently working on chapters which should all be up this week and I apologize for how long it's been between chapters.

I'm wishing everyone the best damned Christmas and Hanukkah and/or whatever else everyone celebrates or doesn't celebrate just as long as your having fun!!  No matter what you 're doing it's a time for family and friends and fun and I'm hoping you're all getting it the best.

Dialysis remains the same, having made peace with the fact that I'll not be getting a transplant due to my extreme sensitivities and age (new guidelines make it clear that only the very young are going to get the available kidneys because they 'll get the longest use out of it) and although I understand it leaves those of us over 25 in a not so nice position.  But I'm good with it, I've learned how to live my life on dialysis and I can continue to do so. It hasn't stopped me from doing the things I want to do, it just makes me do them a bit slower these days (LOL). 

So all my love to everyone, my readers and followers, and hope to see you all again after the holidays!!


  • Mood: Joy
  • Listening to: my Ipod
  • Reading: my fanfic trying to catch up
  • Watching: The News


dotti55's Profile Picture
Dotti Rhodes
United States
Love anime/manga, my fav and obsession is Death Note and my heart belongs to L. I love the pairing of L and Light coz it keeps them alive and happy which is why I began writing LxLight fanfaction (also because much of what I was reading was horrible and consistently sad and tragic. If I wanted more of that I'd just rewatch the anime) I also love Disney, musical theatre, Star Trek (TOS), The Beatles, Dr Who and my Xbox. My family is my life and aging is my enemy and I refuse to acknowledge it.

My tumbler:
My fanfiction page:



Rawr ;P
Sat Jun 21, 2014, 8:23 AM
BOY LOLLIPOP! (... I had too. XD To tempting)
Mon Mar 4, 2013, 3:10 PM
*casually comments in shoutbox* :heart::la:
Mon Feb 4, 2013, 6:03 AM
You are so awesome!
Tue Dec 18, 2012, 3:02 PM
thanks so much for the fav!!! haha [link]
Thu Nov 8, 2012, 9:13 AM
Tue Apr 3, 2012, 12:49 AM
Disney!!!! :w00t:
Sun Dec 9, 2007, 7:47 PM



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Hedgehog-Russell Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2014
dotti55 Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2014
BluePop-Corn Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2014  Student General Artist
Thank you for the fav!Adorable Girl Anime Emoji (Double kawaii wink) V6
dotti55 Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2014
otakuprincess445 Featured By Owner Edited Sep 17, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for joining :iconthefirecrackers: i hope you enjoy my characters, group and story :)
dotti55 Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2014
You're welcome, definitely interesting idea!
otakuprincess445 Featured By Owner Edited Sep 20, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks. Glad you think so :happycry:
DelilahHyuuga238 Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you so much for the fav>v<
dotti55 Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2014
You are so welcome!!
DelilahHyuuga238 Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
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